It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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