her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
