WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
