; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
