Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
