How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
