even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
