batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
These tits shall not be calmed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
