YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
