I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
