Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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