You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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