you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
