the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
