Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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