he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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