so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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