i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
