let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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