you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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