I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
