i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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