i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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