Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
