I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
