just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
