We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
