worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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