i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
