The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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