I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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