you win again, gameday.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I want to be your penis for a week.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
