What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
