meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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