my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
