I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
