she woke up with a sticky ear
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
