I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
