you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
