and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
