your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Your mouth is God's brothel.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
