that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
