Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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