I want to walk on stilts...naked
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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