yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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