Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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