Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
