my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
