operation have a gay friend backfired
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
