Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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